It was 14:45. Tuesday. I was making my way upstairs to the laboratory. That was when my phone rang. I was all set up. Grabbing my labcoat as the phone vibrated, I picked it up.
“Assalamualaikum. Weh…. how’re things? What are you doing right now?”
“On the way to the lab. I’m good. Alhamdulillah (trying to sound like my Sudanese friend). What’s up?”
She hesitated, and I could barely heard her voice, it was as if she had to make tremendous effort just to speak up. It was as if what she’s going to say in a few minutes would blow her out.
“I have just broken up with him.”
“Okay.”
That was the first thing I could mustered. Apart from the fact that I was in a hurry , I didn’t really know how to say the right thing to a broken hearted person. Moreover, I just didn’t see the magnitude of the situation, the damage or the pain, or simply because I failed to relate the situation as I just didn’t understand that feeling.
“I feel terrible. I can’t get over him, we have been together for 4 years”
I’ve sort of expected it.
I found a bench and sat on it. Listening to every word she was saying.
“He sent a text message saying that it’s over, he didn’t want to be part of this relationship anymore.What am I going to do after this? What is left of me?”
And then there was silence. Like she was waiting for me to say something to comfort her. I guessed she was expecting me to say things like ‘he will call you’, or ‘you will be alright’, or ‘it’s not over, just fight for your love’ or ‘you guys will be okay again, it’s just a phase any couple would go through’
“He did the right thing,” I blurted out.
“What?”
“He did the right thing. And you need to get over him,” I insisted.
“Don’t say that. Come on. I’m your friend. Don’t just give me those words. I’m in pain.”
“I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I can only tell you what you need to know.”
I paused. Trying hard to get my point clear and not affected by how terrible I might have sounded to her.
Then I said:
Allah says ‘Do not come near Zina, for it is a shameful deed and an evil path’.
He Almighty doesn’t say never do Zina, He says not to do anything that would lead to Zina, not to be involved in anything that would eventually make way to unlawful relationship, the kind of relationship that does not have legal ties that bind two person, man and woman together by marriage.
“Do not come near Zina, for it is a shameful deed and an evil path.”
Surah Al-Israa: 32
Friends, lets have deep insight of this hadith;
Abu Hurairah reported that Rasulullah (pbuh) ‘There are three whom Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor praise, nor look at; theirs will be a painful torment: an old man who commits zina, a king who lies, an a poor man who is arrogant.” Reported by Muslim, 1/102-103.
We should now be able to grasp the position of Zina in the eyes of Allah the Almighty for He will not speak nor praise nor look at us if we are one who commit Zina.
Come to think of it, why is there such a law and prohibition against this action? Islam never burdens its ummat. There is always a reason behind God’s order. Let’s take a look at this ayah;
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.” Surah Annur: 30
Allah gives order to stay away from Zina, to actually protect us. He intends to guard us against the danger of the nafs and preserve our self-respect and pride. He wishes that we maintain our purity and are self-worthy, to actually be respected in the society, and to have the respect for ourselves. The ruling is also to protect us from diseases and hurting ourselves in commiting this sin. One important reason in obeying His rule is for us to have an identity of a pure Muslim that submit himself to no ond but the word of God.
Therefore, let’s restrain ourselves from committing this sin and take good care of ourselves and guard our every action. Protecting your chastity means loving yourselves. In fact, Allah’s forbidding Zina is the true show of love towards us .
So, how many forms of Zina are there ?
According to the version narrated by Muslims;
“The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the ears is listening, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hand is touching, and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart wishes and longs and the private part confirms that or denies it.” Muslim, 2657
So these are the types of Zina that we could fall into if we are not watchful enough. All these are associated with how well we took good care of Allah’s bounties upon us. Guard them well in order to protect us from commiting any types of Zina.
One of the Zina described by the hadith is the Zina of the heart, which can be described as longing and desiring of the presence of the opposite sex. This is common when one is in love without legal knots of marriage. So there it is. As simple as that. Simply having a relationship on the basis of love is wrong. It is better to reserve this strong desire of remembrance and longing for love after one is married.
Unclean women are for the unclean men, and unclean men are for unclean women; and pure women are for pure men, and pure men are for pure women. They are free from the slanderer’s accusations; for them there shall be forgiveness and honorable provision from Allah. Surah Annur: 26
Therefore say no to being in love, in a relationship that is not solemnized by marriage. Believe that Allah will always be there and loves us. Do not do anything that goes against His order. Always believe that He will give the best to us. We will always have the chance to repent. The door of forgiveness is always open. Find Him, believe in Him.
Sabrina Zaifulizan
Aktivis PEMBINA BANGI
